My Wife, My Rules – 18. chapter

Dawn had already broken, yet Tess could not tell whether she had managed to fall asleep at all. Aiden sat up in bed and looked at her. She remained lying with her back to him, unable to imagine what she was supposed to do now.

“Kitty?” he called softly. He knew she was not sleeping, and she knew that he knew.

“Yes?” she answered and got up at once. She began dressing quickly, but she did not look at him.

Something is wrong. He had now fully confirmed the suspicion that had taken hold during the night.

“How did you sleep?” he asked. His voice was calm, but cautious.

“Fine,” she said shortly.

He blinked. He got out from under the covers and stood right in front of Tess. There was no way for her not to look at him, so she did. He studied her face carefully.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she replied without emotion.

Very wrong.

“Tess?” he pressed, demanding a truer answer.

“Nothing,” she repeated, but this time she could no longer stand looking into his eyes, so she turned to the mirror to finish dressing.

He hesitated, stunned, for a few seconds, then dressed as well.

“I don’t know when I’ll be home today. I have a great deal of work,” he said, standing in front of her again. She looked at him and said nothing. He reached out, meaning to brush the hair from her face. She shifted aside. Only slightly, but visibly.

He stopped. His hand remained in the air, then he slowly withdrew it.

Oh God, something is TERRIBLY wrong!

It was obvious to him that this was “NOTHING,” so he chose not to push it and turned toward the door. Never in his life had he walked away from her with such a terrible feeling.

He returned home very late that evening. He could not tell whether he had done so on purpose or not. Nor was he certain whether he was glad that Tess was already in bed, apparently asleep.

He knew the answer the instant he realized she was not sleeping at all, only pretending. Plainly so she would not have to have any contact with him. He fought with himself not to jump up at once and start forcing an explanation out of her. Yet somehow he did not feel he was in any position to force anything. And he knew with absolute certainty that if she did not truly want to, he would get nowhere with her. He could not fall asleep, and judging by the stiffness of Tess’s body, she clearly could not either. The situation felt absurd to him, so he rose, pulled on his robe, and went down to the salon to pour himself a glass of brandy.

When he woke in the morning, Tess was gone from the room. That had never happened before. One look out the window at the empty garden told him she had gone into the forest. From noon on, everything seemed more and more insane to him, with every passing hour, until at last Tess returned just before sunset.

He sat in an armchair with a book from which he had not read a single sentence all day, unable to focus. Tess gave him only a glance as she shrugged off her coat.

“You’re avoiding me,” he said coldly, before he could even find out whether she would greet him at all.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It was beautiful outside today.” Her voice held no emotion at all.

He sat without moving, but inside, he was raging. From helplessness, and from the heartless way she was treating him. If only she would give him a reason. Just one. He wanted nothing more than to grab her and shake her hard. But he knew this was exactly the emotional state in which he could not enter an emotionally charged confrontation. With iron certainty he understood that until he calmed down, he should not force a conversation. He could make the whole thing even worse.

Could this get any worse?!

The next morning, for a change, he was the one who vanished from the room before the other one woke. Yet after only a few hours he lasted only a few hours, catching himself not registering anything happening around him. This could not continue. Paradise could not turn into hell out of nowhere. There had to be a way out! He left everyone as they were, offered only a brief apology, and hurried home. If he still had such a thing.

Tess sat reading in an armchair. She did not lift her eyes when he entered. He did not even remove his coat. He went straight to his knees before her, at her feet.

“Tess. Please. Please,” he pleaded desperately.

She raised her gaze to him and said nothing. There was a chill in her eyes that made his heart clench.

“Please. At least tell me what I did. I am not begging for mercy. I will bear the punishment if I deserve it, but for what? What have I done?”

Nothing. If you don’t love me, neither of us can do anything about it, Tess said to herself. But aloud, nothing. She was beginning to lose the fight against her own tears, so she turned her eyes away.

“Please. Please… if I’ve failed you… give me at least a chance.”

“There is nothing you can make right,” she said so softly and so firmly that he believed her.

His heart broke.